We anticipate we know that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel paeent. We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating dating after death of parent both body and mind. He died suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. Granted things heal over time but there are just some days where I can't even look at a picture of her without bursting into tears. I am single as can be at the moment because it is beyond difficult to find someone who not only understands what its like for me to have lost my Mom but someone who can deal with how things hit me. I was in one relationship after I lost my Mom and since then, everything has changed. The things I value in a relationship like honesty, responsibility, all that jazz.
It is a larger blow in adulthood I believe, because you are at the point where you are actually friends with your mother or father. Their wisdom has finally sunk in and you know that all of the shit you rolled your eyes at as a teenager really was done out of love and probably saved your life a time or two. I lost both of mine two years apart; my mother much unexpected and my father rather quickly after a cancer diagnosis. My mom was the one person who could see into my soul and could call me out in the most effective way. She taught me what humanity, empathy and generosity means.
These powerful first-person stories explore the many reasons and ways we experience grief and navigate a new normal. After 15 years of marriage I lost my wife, Leslie, to cancer.
Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. Remember how much you cared whether your parents liked your high school boyfriend or girlfriend? That is exactly how much your widowed parent and his or her significant other care whether or not you approve of their relationship--not at all.